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"The thing has a function of what I am do something with; and that wasn't consider suitable!!"
-from "Cold Mountain"
這是我最想要吶喊的話
越快到畢業我越來越感覺的到無形的壓力席捲而來
我的報告隨著時間像我的體態一樣被顯激增
(我因為這禮拜說要好好做報告就割捨掉我的游泳333了,真的很渾身不痛快)
我很懷念我愛好文學戲劇又目光粼動的樣子
我明明就是很古靈精怪的人
都不知道我最近到底是被什麼纏得烏煙瘴氣
我最近都覺得我都活得很沒腦袋
都沒在用腦想事情啊!
所以常常需要跑兩趟或是多做一次事情等等
我不能接受這樣的自己!!
還有關於'有用'這麼一回事
這大概從我大一講到現在還是沒辦法逃離的話題
我沒辦法學理工或是商管,因為我沒辦法接受
就像學上述科系的會鄙視文學院的態度一樣
我沒有到鄙視那麼誇張
但是不要說服我去讀你們的科系會比我讀的'有用', don't even try to!
我真的很喜歡寫作
我現在還沒有找回對劇作的熱誠,但我知道那不可能消失殆盡
我很喜歡你們看不懂的電影,令你們昏昏欲睡的理論
我可以因為拿到一本詮釋學的書邊走邊跳
說好明明只看兩小時卻欲罷不能想要多讀一些
我知道聽起來可能有點失常
但我覺得在電腦教玩跑跑卡丁車並投影在大螢幕才是相當失常的事
(你就自己在你的電腦上做你的復健運動何必要大家都看你在玩什麼?你自私的覺得我也會想要知道你跑贏幾台泡泡車嗎?)
somehow I always feel I'm a really lucky person.
I know my own limits and strength, like what I can and what will be difficult to me.
When I say it, I really mean it. I don't say things that I don't mean it. (most of time)
And I like my life, even you guys think it's bizzard.
C'mon! you're the bounch of wiredoes and too narrow to have conscience to aware it!
欸,我真的覺得關於情感這回事我大概遲早會變成stoicism的人吧
我問過Wolf,他說這和rational不一樣
我知道,我很早就告訴我自己我的肉體要和情感分離
that's what I thought you want
and that's the way to protact myself not to get badly injured from you as well!
However, to know is one thing, to do is another...
How can I hide my feelings away from everyone including you?
I don't feel sincere if there's no kisses
sorry, but I still think so
you're not that kind of person I can ignore easily
'cause there are feelings toward you, tremendously!
And yet, not a living soul on earth knows it,
not even you!
You're too sensible and afraid to know all those, I susposed...
每每道別,我都覺得靈魂,心理,和身體是不同的個體
我不需要長30公分的水果刀一樣可以讓我身心分離
words you said, jokes you made and moves you have in every step
I try to take them down as little notes,
recite it again and again before going to bed
所以我不能接受'結婚已有一子'的笑話,完全不能
我也不想要只當常幫忙你但是完全對我毫無情感的同學
真抱歉,我沒有辦法用你的理性把我的身心靈挑撥細分
or not yet...
-from "Cold Mountain"
這是我最想要吶喊的話
越快到畢業我越來越感覺的到無形的壓力席捲而來
我的報告隨著時間像我的體態一樣被顯激增
(我因為這禮拜說要好好做報告就割捨掉我的游泳333了,真的很渾身不痛快)
我很懷念我愛好文學戲劇又目光粼動的樣子
我明明就是很古靈精怪的人
都不知道我最近到底是被什麼纏得烏煙瘴氣
我最近都覺得我都活得很沒腦袋
都沒在用腦想事情啊!
所以常常需要跑兩趟或是多做一次事情等等
我不能接受這樣的自己!!
還有關於'有用'這麼一回事
這大概從我大一講到現在還是沒辦法逃離的話題
我沒辦法學理工或是商管,因為我沒辦法接受
就像學上述科系的會鄙視文學院的態度一樣
我沒有到鄙視那麼誇張
但是不要說服我去讀你們的科系會比我讀的'有用', don't even try to!
我真的很喜歡寫作
我現在還沒有找回對劇作的熱誠,但我知道那不可能消失殆盡
我很喜歡你們看不懂的電影,令你們昏昏欲睡的理論
我可以因為拿到一本詮釋學的書邊走邊跳
說好明明只看兩小時卻欲罷不能想要多讀一些
我知道聽起來可能有點失常
但我覺得在電腦教玩跑跑卡丁車並投影在大螢幕才是相當失常的事
(你就自己在你的電腦上做你的復健運動何必要大家都看你在玩什麼?你自私的覺得我也會想要知道你跑贏幾台泡泡車嗎?)
somehow I always feel I'm a really lucky person.
I know my own limits and strength, like what I can and what will be difficult to me.
When I say it, I really mean it. I don't say things that I don't mean it. (most of time)
And I like my life, even you guys think it's bizzard.
C'mon! you're the bounch of wiredoes and too narrow to have conscience to aware it!
欸,我真的覺得關於情感這回事我大概遲早會變成stoicism的人吧
我問過Wolf,他說這和rational不一樣
我知道,我很早就告訴我自己我的肉體要和情感分離
that's what I thought you want
and that's the way to protact myself not to get badly injured from you as well!
However, to know is one thing, to do is another...
How can I hide my feelings away from everyone including you?
I don't feel sincere if there's no kisses
sorry, but I still think so
you're not that kind of person I can ignore easily
'cause there are feelings toward you, tremendously!
And yet, not a living soul on earth knows it,
not even you!
You're too sensible and afraid to know all those, I susposed...
每每道別,我都覺得靈魂,心理,和身體是不同的個體
我不需要長30公分的水果刀一樣可以讓我身心分離
words you said, jokes you made and moves you have in every step
I try to take them down as little notes,
recite it again and again before going to bed
所以我不能接受'結婚已有一子'的笑話,完全不能
我也不想要只當常幫忙你但是完全對我毫無情感的同學
真抱歉,我沒有辦法用你的理性把我的身心靈挑撥細分
or not yet...
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